THE CALIFORNIA SUPREMES TO RULE ON GAY MARRIAGE - AND THAT'S A GOOD THING... RIGHT?

Just heard the news - after four long years (remember when Gavin Newsom opened the gay marriage floodgates in California on Valentines Day, 2004?), the California Supreme Court has finally set a date to hear arguments in the case brought by the City of San Francisco - March 4th, 2008.

It's been a long road.  Mark and I went to city hall on March 11th, 2004, and got married, just hours before the Supreme Court pulled the plug on the almost month-long parade of gay weddings in San Francisco.

A couple months later, our marriage license was revoked by the same court.

Then one appeals court ruled that we were entitled to marriage.  And then another said we weren't.

The state legislature got it together and passed a bill that would have legalized gay marriage by a single vote - it was a total cliffhanger, with the last vote taking an agonizing two minutes to finally come through when the vote was taken.

And of course, Arnold vetoed it, citing the will of the people.

The bill passed once again late last year, and of course, Arnold vetoed it once again.

Now we're here once again, with our rights in the balance, and I have to wonder, is it better to know or not to know?  Right now, I can hold on to all my hopes for gay marriage in California - I can dream that someday in the near future, my partner and I can walk down the aisle with the full blessing of the state.

But what if they say no?

What if they buy into the Governator's argument that "discrimination based on sexual orientation should be judged less strictly than bias based on race or sex"?

What if they, like many others in our society, think I'm a second class citizen, and don't deserve to have any rights like the real people?

Think I'm exaggerating?  Then check out the petitions that are being circulated for the November ballot here in California.  One only writes discrimination into the state Constitution.

I say only, because the other is an even nastier piece of work.  Sponsored by several "Christian" organizations, the second initiative one would not only change the state constitution, but it would also strip away all the domestic partner rights the state has already granted to us.

If it passed, I would no longer have the right to visit Mark in the hospital.  If I died first, Mark would no longer be entitled to our Prop 13 tax rate.  And if these people had their way, I'm sure we'd eventually lose our job protections as well.

It's sad that folks who call themselves Christians carry so much hatred in their hearts.

My Grandfather was a Christian Minister, and he knew what Christ was about - not hatred, but love.

He told me a story once, about a parishoner who came to him and said his church shouldn't let gay people attend services.  My grandfather asked her to imagine she was in a world where everyone else was gay and she was the only straight person.  And then he asked her how she would feel.

These "Christians" could learn a lot about morality and true Christian faith from a man like my Grandfather.

So I'm looking ahead to the rest of 2008 with a strange mix of hope and trepidation.

2008 could be the year that sets us back a decade or more, as Mark and I find ourselves stripped of the rights we thought we had by a mean-spirited ballot measure and an uncaring electorate.

Or maybe, just maybe if we're lucky, it could be the year, finally, when we step into the light, when we dance that first dance together under the bright lights amid the circle of our friends and family, knowing, at last, that we're just as good and just as worthy of respect as John and Jane, as Michelle and Dan, and as Brittney and Kevin.  If not more.

Because we want to get married.  We grew up in the same households as straight folks did, watching the same movies, feeling the same emotions, wanting the same things.  We dreamed, when we were little kids, of growing up and marrying that special someone.  And then we grew up to find that the door was barred.

So for now, I'll let go of my fears and hold onto my hope for 2008.

And if the worst comes to pass, so be it - we'll survive it.

We always have.

--Scott